The Coming Storm
by Digital Storm
Summary: One year after the end of their fateful journey, Ellie finally confronts Joel on his lie and his reasoning behind it, and as a result, they grow further apart. However, when a tragic incident leaves Joel bitten by Infected, the two come to terms with what they mean to each other. But, by some miracle, what if Joel shared Ellie's terrible gift?
1. Prologue

**A/N: So this is the first fanfiction I've ever written, so be forgiving if I make some mistakes (characterization, too short, etc.). I've had this concept going in my head for a while and figured that I should put it on paper, and what's a better place to do that than here? This is just a prologue, so the next chapters will take place after the ending of the game. I'll take any kind of criticism, because it is all constructive. Hope you guys enjoy!**

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**BASED ON THE NAUGHTY DOG VIDEO GAME**

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**Chapter 1: Prologue**

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_"You can try beggin'."_

The relentless fire that gnawed at the walls and ceilings of the restaurant was the least of her concerns as the monster of a man bared down on her with all his might. He had her by the hair, grasping her ponytail and forcing her face first into the carpet, as his weight kept her pinned to the floor.

Somehow, she managed to spit back, _"Fuck you!"_

A chuckle came from above, as she felt her small frame spun around to land on her back. He sat on top of her, like as if she belonged to him, and he was setting her straight. A meaty, calloused hand clamped down hard over her throat as her breathe began to draw short and desperate, fighting to come out. Tears welled up in her eyes from the pain as the vision of his face blurred from her view, and the thanked the stars she no longer could make him out. However, his crooked grin still sent chills down her spin despite the raging inferno that surrounded them, wanting to consume them.

The machete that she had been fighting so hard to get to was just a little out of her reach, lying unnoticed to her attacker above under the booth of the table that had once housed families, just wanting a meal. She fought harder that she could have ever remembered fighting before, fighting against his iron like grasp for the weapon that would bring an end to her torment. From her view, that machete looked ever so friendly.

_"You think you know me, huh..."_

His grip on her throat grew stronger, more violent, as she began to lose the ability to breathe. Holding her breath, knowing that when it ran out, and she tried to inhale, that she would suffocate and die, thanks to the maniac that held her.

Her arm explored the floor, desperately trying to find the machete that was just right there, right in her reach, as she so wanted the pain to end.

_ "Well let me tell ya somethin'..."_

The cold metal feeling on her fingertips brought a new strength, a new rage that filled her weakening body with a fresh jolt of energy that wasn't there before, had never been there before. She grabbed hold of it, letting it slide down into her full grasp, and the new feeling of power was extraordinary.

_"You have no idea what I'm capable of..."_

_And neither do you..._

She swung, with all her might, with all the built up strength that had just arrived to push her forward, and she felt the wet resistance on the momentum as the blade hit its target. The new, deep gash in his arm squirt blood like a hose down onto her face, as his grip left her throat and focused more on the new wound at his side. Holding it, caressing it, wanting to make it better again, he suddenly looked up with a realization that he was done for. Falling to his side, Ellie jumped from the floor and landed hard on top of him. Even with the begging hand that he held to her, pleading for his pathetic life, she took another hefty swing, which cleaved the monster's face in two.

Unsatisfied, she took another swing, and another, and another. The blood that squirted up into her face burned her eyes, so she shut them tight and kept swinging relentlessly into his face until what had once been a human head was now an unrecognizable hunk of red meat. She knew what he intended to do to her, what his goal was. And it terrified her, almost beyond repair, as she kept swinging, hoping that each would also erase that bit of his face from her memory as well.

The machete then went straight through the weak flesh, striking the floorboards and lodging its way in between, startling her as she realized it was stuck. Reaching for it frantically, grabbing hold of the hilt and yanking upward, she realized it wasn't coming out. Then, as if on cue, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her, pulling her from the horror against her will as she fought against the new attacker.

"Let go of me!"

Ellie felt herself swung to the side, falling to her knees as the new attacker intended. She struggled at his mighty grip, but was failing as her tiring body betrayed her. Then, she heard his voice.

_"Ellie! Ellie!"_

How did the bastard know her name.

_"Don't fucking touch me!"_

She realized that his touch was consoling, comforting, as if it was to calm her down, to make everything better.

_ "It's me, Ellie."_

No, no it couldn't be him. There was know way. The last time Ellie saw him, he was back at camp, lying on the mattress with a heavy fever setting in, a huge hole in his chest bleeding profusely. It couldn't be possible that he was standing above her, right in front of her, after a period of less than twenty-four hours.

She looked up, trying desperately to look through the thick tears that streamed as rivers down her cheeks, and she was staring directly into Joel's own.

_"It's me."_

Her incessant pants exhausted her even more, as she looked up at her rescuer and just about collapsed into his chest. Sobs began to rack her body as she knew what she had just been the brink on. It had been so damn close to the worst kind of experience, even in a post-apocalypse.

_"H-He tried to..."_

Pulling her in closer, into a full embrace, his soothing voice brought the rest of the world to a stop. There was no longer the burning fire that surrounded them, no longer the body of the monster that had just violated her, no longer the hunters that were stalking them to no end, it was just them.

"Oh, _baby girl... I'm so sorry."_

The next few words that had left his lips knocked any fears or any dirty feeling out of the equation. Calling her _baby girl _did something inside of her, sparked something that had not been there before, even on top of the caring and consolation. It was love. An undying love that was born between the two right then and there in that burning restaurant, and it meant so much to her. Ellie knew what those two words meant, they were what he had called his daughter Sarah so long ago. It almost made her feel guilty, as if she was replacing her. As if she had stolen her love. That couldn't be it, though. The thoughts there themselves brought even more tears to her eyes, as Ellie's sobs grew more frantic.

Unknown to her, Joel was crying too. Crying with her, as his own tears streamed down to mix with hers on the rusty carpet. He held her tight to his chest, trying desperately to fight off the emotion, to be strong for her. But, it was a failing task. This little girl had brought so much light into his dark world, and healed an old wound that he thought would have never gone away. She had been so strong over the past year, so gitty. So happy, so energetic. She was almost oblivious to the horrors that surrounded them, it seemed. However, to see her like this, it tore him to the core, and so he let it out with her, not allowing any space between them.

It felt like hours, just the two of them holding onto each other, not willing to part, until Joel's emotions slowed down, the ringing in his ears stopped, and his dreadful thoughts floated away. He lifted an arm, wiping away the tears, sniffing to keep it hidden from her, and pulled her back, interrupting her own sobbing. Placing both of his hands on her cheeks, he looked right into her emerald eyes and began talking to her, soothing her as he knew how, trying to be strong for her in the wake of such devastation.

The words were muffled, unheard through the ringing and the burning, but Ellie heard them clear as day, and it shoved the tears away for the moment. They were words only Joel and Ellie heard.

Bringing her to her feet, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and took one of her hands in his other, and felt it squeeze his palm tightly. With that, he led Ellie out of the still burning restaurant and out into the blizzard before them, leaving behind the blood-stained machete that bored right into the floor that had once been David's face.

* * *

The only place Joel could landmark was the cabin he had woke up in hours before, so he decided that it was definitely their best, and only, option. Now carrying Ellie in his arms, her tiring figure requiring such attention, he pushed his way through the thickening snow as the flakes that fell from the sky above blocked his view. His knees began to hurt, fighting against nature as it tried hard to push him to the ground.

Ellie had her arms wrapped around his neck, her face buried in his shoulder as she shook violently in his arms. Joel felt relief as he found the resort cabin hidden in so much white. He felt so lucky over the fact that the two of them had not encountered one hunter after the restaurant, so the only trouble had been getting there.

Forcing the front door open, he closed it behind them and locking both locks on the knob tightly, forcing it as far as it would go until his rough, tan fingers grew white. Joel landed hard with his back on the wall and slide down until he sat with Ellie sprawled out in his lap. She was still crying.

"Baby girl, it's okay now. We're safe. We're safe."

He rubbed his fingers through her auburn hair, which was still drenched with snow and sweat, and blood. They both were. Her sobbing wasn't loud like it had been before, not what Joel could categorize as hysteric. It was just a low, steady sound that echoed through the hallway. Her tears stained a large, wet spot on his gray t-shirt and jacket as he began to cradle her gently and softly. Burying his face into her hair, he felt relief as her crying came to a well-deserved end, and they both clung to each other as much as they could, as Joel rocked slowly and surely to the left, and then to the right. Ellie couldn't stand any distance between them, so she pulled her own face into his chest, smelling the damn cologne that he still bothered to put on even in times like this that had stained his shirt, leaving a permanent odor. It almost made her laugh.

They just sat their, rocking, desperately trying to keep the demons at bay. Their own thoughts weren't that far apart, because they all revolved around the opposite person that sat in the hallway with them. Their steady breathing synced as they quietly came to an understanding that love was with out a doubt now in the equation. Neither, however, being the hard heads they were, would come to admit it for a long time. They just sat their, among the dreadful thoughts of what could have happened if this went that way, or if that went this way, as the tears began to return.

Ellie finally spoke up.

"J-Joel."

Her voice was muffled in his shirt, but he could still hear it as clear as day. Bringing his head up, he looked down at the emerald eyes of the fourteen year old that he held in his arms, which were red and near raw from what he could tell had been caused by pain that had started long before he had gotten there. He brushed her hair from her forehead as she allowed him to do it. His touch did the opposite of what she'd expect after what David had done to her, it sent a feeling of comfort and peace through her whole body. With that, she wrapped her arms further around his abdominal.

"Ellie..."

Neither of them could form words, but just looked at each other with a longing wish for peace and an end to their torment. Fuck the Fireflies, and fuck the world around them. What truly mattered right then and there was them, and them alone.

"They... they were going to..."

"Ellie, stop. Just stop."

His voice was demanding all of the sudden, almost shocking her from her own deep emotions.

"Just, don't even think about what could have happened. The two of us made it here, safe and sound. That's all that matters now."

"Joel, I... I can't just stop thinking about it."

He looked down at her again, pulling himself from the cold stare he was giving the wall, and opened his ears fully to listen.

"What happened, while I was out."

She told him the story, of how when he passed out at the University, she had carried him the rest of the way, through the mall with the helicopter where she had seen the group of soldiers, or the aftermath anyway, where she got the medication. Then, how she'd found the cabin resort that they were sitting in right now, and how she'd gone out hunting one morning, finding and killing a deer, and how doing so brought her face to face with David.

She had to stop there, where she began to shake incessantly and violently, but Joel's touch on her sides brought her back from the brink of a mental breakdown, and she sighed heavily. Her voice shook as she continued.

"He had said... that everything happens for a reason..."

Of course. Of course that's how he thought.

"and that... that his men... from the university..."

Joel nodded, getting the picture now.

"T-that they'd been slaughtered, by a crazy man."

She then pointed up to him.

"You."

A small chuckle escaped him as the minuscule smile that formed on his lips surprised him. A crazy man, huh?

"He then said that... it wasn't my fault, and I could accompany him. T-that he'd... protect me."

"Ellie, you don't have to say anymore. I get the picture."

He could see the torture in her eyes as he reassured her, rubbing her silky hair through his fingers as she looked up at him almost with relief.

He could put the rest of the pieces together. There was no more need for an explanation, especially from Ellie.

"I was so afraid Joel."

He was surprised then that he was successful in pulling Ellie closer to him.

"I was so scared... that I'd come back, and that you'd be gone."

Her voice began to crack again, and Joel came to a full realization how much he meant to her, and how much she meant to him.

"Ellie, everything's going to be okay. We're going to find the Fireflies, and be done with the whole damn thing. Then, we'll go wherever you want to, okay?"

She nodded, and inhaled with a shaky breath before lying back down onto him.

"I'm not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not, Ellie, you're stuck with me."

Despite the confident tone in his voice, he felt doubt. Doubt that came from the fact that he'd almost died already in front of Ellie, and that scared him even more. He felt the urge to cry again, for her, for the pain that she felt. Knowing he had to be strong, he was successful in fighting back the tears this time, but just barely. Seeing Ellie near broken in his arms broke his heart, and he didn't know what to do about it, so he changed the topic to something else, something to keep them thinking of anything else.

"I'm sorry, Ellie."

She looked up at him, near startled.

"For what?"

He cleared his clenching throat, realizing that he was not as good at holding back the emotions as he thought, so he just started talking.

"Back at the cabin... back at Tommy's, I said things..."

"Joel."

She pulled herself up, to where she could evenly see his face and pull him into a perfect embrace. He hugged her back, tightly and warmly, feeling her breath on his neck as he closed his eyes, the tears betraying him and peaking out of his closed eyelids.

"I'm sorry too, Joel."

Her own voice was cracking again, and he knew that it was because his own was as well. He had to keep himself strong for her, no matter how much it hurt. No matter how much he wanted to give in at times.

"I need you to promise me..."

Joel pulled Ellie back, staring directly into her own tear stained eyes with his, and placed a hand on her cheek.

"You promise me that you'll never leave me. No matter what, we stick together on this, you hear?"

He nodded, not wanting the emotions to betray him again.

"I promise you Ellie."

He put a finger on her chin, lifting her face up as it began to drag back down. He then remembered something that she'd said to him back at Tommy's.

_Everyone that I have cared for has either died, or left me..._

"As long as I'm still kicking, as long as I'm still breathing, you'll never be alone, Ellie. You have my word."

Ellie glanced back at Joel, a new light in her eyes that had been absent for so long, and a small, hopeful grin tugged at her lips, even with fresh tears streaming back down her red cheeks.

"Okay."


	2. You and Me

**A/N: I can honestly say that I'm at a loss because of the kind words you guys have given over the past couple of days, it really brings out a good mood in me. So, I'm back with the official first chapter of the story, which is about as long as the prologue. However, the ones coming up will begin to get longer, especially during the rising action and climax. Nothing else more to say, except enjoy, guys!**

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**Chapter 2: You and Me**

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It seemed as if the whole entire world had come to a sudden stop, as her own began to come crashing down on top of her. It was due to one factor and one factor only.

Joel was bitten.

As the blood from the fresh wound that cut deep into his wrist ran as rivers of red down his tan, yet paling skin, the white of his eyes were already beginning to turn their own maroon shade, which frightened her more as she starred in depth at the dying man's face. Moans were already finding their way in between each short, sharp breath that escaped Joel's mouth, and it seemed like darkness was beginning to surround her. It was as if it was swallowing her whole, taking her in its strong grasp and refusing to let go, as it choked her and tortured her. Unable to breathe, Ellie's bottom lip quivered with each drip of the crimson that landed on the dirt underfoot, which in turn ran down through the dried cracks and eventually came to a stop at the tip of her shoe, running in opposite paths down the sides which stained the already torn cloth that covered her feet.

The monstrosity responsible, a clicker that laid in a heap at their feet with a bullet hole replacing its face, had stopped twitching only seconds ago, the smoke from the gun still in the air as crisp as it ever would be, but for Ellie, it felt like she'd been standing there for hours upon hours, just staring straight at the bite mark that Joel now desperately clasped. She could already see sprouts of fungi forcing its way from under the skin, pushing the cut open even wider, which in turn forced even more blood out of his wrist.

Ellie had no clue of what she was supposed to do, of what she was supposed to say. The one thing that bothered her most was the fact that this whole thing right here was her own damn fault. If she hadn't of run off like that...

The damn argument was only a blur in her head, and for some reason she couldn't seem to summon it back to memory. Her only hope was that it was about something meaningful, something important. Not over a guy, or a group of friends, or some other stupid topic that teenage girls found so important. If only she could remember what it was.

Joel's senses returned to him, as he pulled his gaze from the bite and finally began to refocus his attention on what definitely mattered most at the moment, Ellie. Still holding the open wound, trying desperately to hold back the blood that streamed out, turning his hand from tan to red, he began to approach her with a comforting, yet cautious demeanor about him. Ellie responded by backing away.

"Ellie..."

The tears were already pricking at her eyes, as she began to rub away at her nose with sniffles following each movement. However, she was still backing away, and she hated herself for it.

"Oh my God... Joel..."

She still couldn't believe what she was looking at, the fact that Joel was now a goner began to break her mentally at a slow, yet steady and surely pace that tormented her even more. The fact that the man that she had begun to grow to love as the father she never had, the man that trekked over the US with her over the never ending period of a year, the man that kept a tough facade through thick and thin, even when Tess, Henry, and Sam had died, the man that came for her when David was about to have his way with her, braving the winter storm even with a fatal wound...

That man stood before her now, helplessly dying, and she couldn't comprehend it yet, couldn't do a fucking thing about it. She probably would never be able to comprehend it.

"Ellie, now you listen to me..."

He could read her thoughts, or it almost seemed like it. She knew that he knew what she was beginning to plan out in her head.

"Joel, just shut up..."

"Ellie, you know what's gotta happen now, and you know what it means."

"Joel," she repeated with a cold, warning tone, "shut up..."

"You have to go, Ellie. You are putting yourself at risk right now. You need to get back to Jackson."

"Joel, stop it."

Her tone was surprisingly calm, but in that threatening kind of way. Joel was still holding his bite with an iron grasp, but it almost seemed like it was squeezing more blood from the wound as a result.

"There's no argument to be had here, kiddo. You need to leave now, before..."

_"Joel, I said shut the fuck up!"_

He did, dumbfounded by the sudden outburst, as his mouth hung ajar for a matter of seconds, before clamping shut. He just looked at her, as she placed her crimson hands to her forehead, pacing back and forth in the small field that they stood in, trying really hard to come up with what to do, for a solution that pretty much didn't exist for them. Thunder was beginning to rumble overhead, giving it's signs of the coming storm.

"Ellie, please, don't make this harder on yourself."

"Joel, I said quiet. Just let me think."

"Ellie, there is nothing we can do-"

"Yes there is! There_ has _to be something we can do."

"Like what, huh," he questioned, his voice getting higher, "what do you got, Ellie? Believe me, I'm all ears!"

"I don't know!"

"What?!"

_"I don't fucking know, okay!"_

Before she could think up something, a terrible idea crossed her mind of what Henry had done so long ago, and as if Joel had noticed this, she caught what Joel was moving to do. Running up to him quickly, she grabbed the pistol that he was raising to his head by the barrel. She then pointed it towards the ground so that in the scuffle they were undoubtedly about to have, no one would accidentally get shot.

Joel began to yank it away, but Ellie grabbed hold of his unhurt wrist, as she proceeded to jump onto his chest and push him to his knees. Unable to fight against her sudden strength, Joel's big frame surprisingly fell to the ground with a thud, and Ellie snatched the gun from his hands, tossing it away with all her might.

"Don't you dare try that again."  
"Ellie..."

"_Don't!"_

Joel looked up at her, as she panted and sniffed all at the same time, a surprised look of sickness and fear mixed all together in the blood shot, brown eyes that captivated Ellie when she looked into them. The complexity of them pulled her mind from the turmoil that was taking place right in front of her, and she found herself unable to move with all her might. It was as if, she was frozen.

"Please, Ellie... don't make this hard on me either."

"Joel, just don't, okay? Don't you start talking like that."

"There's no other option here, Ellie. What, you think that I'm going to walk back with you to Tommy's and that somehow, I'm miraculously going to survive a _bite wound?_"

He held his bad wrist up, pointing at the now swollen mark that was still bleeding like a hose. She just continued to look into his eyes, as she still found herself unable to move. Unable to do anything.

"Joel, common. We have to figure out something."

Her voice was beginning to crack, with defeat, with fear, with a sudden loneliness, with every bad emotion that could be defined in a dictionary, as the tears began to reveal themselves. It broke Joel's heart.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Not fucking shoot yourself."

"Well, we're out of options otherwise, Ellie."

"Common, Joel, give me a minute, at _least _a minute to come up with something!"

"No... Ellie, just think for a goddamn second..."

"_No!"_

"Dammit, Ellie! You listen to me..."

"_No, Joel!"_

_ "I will not turn into one of those things, Ellie! You hear me?!"_

She was crying now, and she felt weak, so very weak. It was as if her own tough facade was diminishing ever since that restaurant ages ago. Ellie wanted to smack herself, to sharpen up, to be strong again. She couldn't do it. However, what he said reminded her of something, one final push that she could try.

"_What about Tess, Joel?"_

He froze, and remembered that fateful moment back at the Capitol building the weak anger subsiding.

"Sam, Joel, remember Sam?"

A sad look shaped his features as the terrible memory flooded back into his head. That moment when he'd almost had to shoot a thirteen year old kid.

_"Riley... Joel. What about Riley?"_

It finally began to dawn on him why she was the way she was. Anybody else would've excepted the inevitable and left, no matter how much it hurt, guaranteed. She, however, was still there, desperately trying to save him.

"I can't let you end up like them, Joel. _I've lost everyone the same damn way! I can't let it happen to you!"_

Joel leaned up from the ground and pulled Ellie down into an embrace, as she began to pound into his chest.

"No, stop it, Joel. Stop..."

He ignored her, hugging Ellie as tightly as his already weakening arms would allow. Joel let her cry into his shoulder, his blood and her tears mixed into the mud below, as the rain began to fall relentlessly. His vision began to cloud on the edges, as an ache that you'd find with a really bad fever began to set in. It was beginning to take him, the cordyceps, as he knew it was only a matter of time. He had to get her as far away from him as possible, because he knew when the time came, and he turned...

He reached back for the pistol that Ellie had thrown off to the side, finding that it was probably in an arm's reach, but to no avail. Ellie had it, tightly gripped in her hand as the coldness of the metal in her palm almost made her feel better, gave her a sense of direction, gave her control of her future. In the embrace, she placed her cheek to his as his touch sent chills down her spine, as she closed her eyes. The pistol in her hands was the end to both their miseries, both of their pain.

Placing the barrel of the gun to her temple, she began to embrace the fact that this was the end, their end, that they'd experience together.

"We had quite the adventure, huh Joel?"

She was still sniffling.

He wasn't resisting, much to her awe, wasn't telling her how stupid it was for her to be doing this, wasn't arguing that she should be headed back to Jackson. Back to Tommy and Maria, and to sanctuary and peace. Instead, she felt him nod.

"Yeah, baby girl. It was quite the ride."

His own voice was beginning to shake now, as well, which saddened Ellie. His exceptence, as well, left a hard, burning coal of regret in her stomach as she was almost disappointed that he'd given in. But her tears were gone, for the time being, since she had her answer.

"What do you think Tommy will do? Once he finds out we're not coming back."

Joel stopped breathing, and cursed to himself.

"Shit. _Baby brother._"

They both sat there, realizing how selfish this made them, what this made them look like. But neither moved an inch, unwilling to return back to Jackson, so they just sat there.

"Do you think there's a heaven, Joel?"

He froze, unsure how to answer such a question, not really sure himself what he thought anyway. Instead, he just answered with what felt most natural to him.

"I guess we're gonna find out together, huh baby girl."

She grinned, despite the tears that had returned, and simply nodded.

"Together."

The gun fired.

* * *

Ellie jolted from her mattress late in the night spontaneously, with Joel's name on her lips accompanying the scream that shook the house. The sudden shock had him awake as well, and he jumped from his own poorly made bed that was at her side, concerned and worried for the life of them. Pulling himself to reality, getting the gist that the real world was in fact a _real place_, he blinked away the sleep quickly and rushed to her aid. She was panting and shaking profusely, unable to grasp that the nightmare that had just occurred had only been a nightmare, nothing more. A hand on her shoulder was all it took to pull her from the frightened gaze she was giving the door across from them.

"_Ellie, Ellie!"_

Still in a daze, despite her awareness of her surroundings, she finally began to come to, a frightened glare mixed into the green color that was her large, puppy dog eyes. Joel took hold of her shoulders more firmly, shaking the terrible thoughts that were now invading her head as she shook them herself away in unison as quickly as they came. Looking up at Joel, she took note of his own nervous glance, and took a second to catch her breath.

"Oh shit. I didn't scream that loudly, did I?"

Joel chuckled, and the quick change of mood was quick to rub off.

"Only a little, kiddo. Only a little."

Ellie cracked a grin, and sighed deeply, before falling back on her rear when she realized she was on her knees. Sweat trickled down her forehead as she rubbed the bottom of her nose, a bad habit that she'd picked up long ago.

"Nightmare," Joel asked.

She nodded simply, and proceeded to lie back until her head hit the pillow. Pulling the sheets back over her once again tiring body, she sighed a second time.

"Was it the same one?"

Joel could remember the time back in the restaurant, and how it had almost put a toll on him emotionally as much as it did Ellie. He almost didn't want to remember it, but he knew he'd have to in times like these when she needed it.

To his surprise, she shook her head.

"No..." she paused. "No, this was something else."

Joel pursed his lips, as Ellie continued her nervous twitch, staring at the ceiling as the fan attached spun at maximum speed. It gave the relaxing sound she'd grown to love so much, along with the cooling breeze that fell on top of her as light as a feather. She loved it, _so much_, even though it was in the middle of winter. Joel still didn't understand, but did not argue the point.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ellie, shocked inside that it was possible, felt another grin tug her lips. Joel seemed to be much more closer to her now than nearly two years ago when she'd been dropped off on him as cargo. It was much more than that now, and they both knew that. He was always there for her, through thick and thin, which made the terrible dream so much worse to her. Despite that it resulted in the death of them both, she couldn't stop thinking about Joel's, much more than her own. The whole urban legend that dreams can actually predict the future was bullshit to Ellie, but the concept still made her a little nervous.

She remembered Joel's question, and shook her head. Now was not the time, especially in the middle of the night.

"You sure, Ellie. You know that can always talk to me."

"I know, Joel, and I thank you for that. It's just..."

She didn't want to talk about a suicide pact at the moment, either. It foreshadowed a dangerous co-dependence, which surprised her, considering the circumstances.

It'd been about a year since the fateful journey across the United States to find the Fireflies, and it'd left scars on the both of them, literally and figuratively. She'd see Joel occasionally scratch his abdomen, where the rebar had pierced through his stomach from the front to the back. It made her cringe just thinking of what pain that had to of been.

What stood out in her mind though was what had come near the end. His story of what happened afterward just didn't sit well in her gut, and it frightened her that she almost felt as if she couldn't trust what he'd told her, or even him for that matter. It was still fresh in her mind as if it had been yesterday, the feeling of the hospital gown instead of the usual t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.

_"It turns out that... that there's a whole lot more like you Ellie..."_

There was a hesitation that had been in his voice the whole time, which almost gave way to a lie in itself.

_"Dozens... actually."_

That couldn't be true. It seemed highly unlikely that there was anybody else on this Earth that shared her terrible gift. It just seemed such like a distant dream. Nothing more.

_ "They stopped looking for a cure..." _

"Ellie?"

Joel pulled her from her thoughts as she realized how she drifted away again. Looking up into his eyes, she found relief flood through her as they were plain white and brown, the way they should be. So it was proven. Joel was still here. She was still here. Nobody was bitten, nobody was dying. It frightened her more so that she almost believed that it had been real all along. Terrified her, actually. However, the relief was overwhelming, and wore her out even more than before. There was no way she was going to get into it tonight, no way, no how.

"It's nothing."

A look of disappointment filled his face, and Joel bit his lower lip and glanced downward, feeling helpless to help her in her time of need. He wanted to, but he was once again denied access to the deep recesses of her mind, which made it much more harder for him to be there for her when the nightmares did return. And they would return, he knew that for a fact. The depressing fact of the matter was that Ellie was emotionally scarred for what could be the rest of her life, and he truly wished that he could be there, a shoulder to cry on.

He looked back up, as Ellie had switched her glance elsewhere, to the window that revealed the dark of the sky late this hour.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll..."

He heard Ellie shift, the blankets moving and then falling as Ellie got on her hands and knees and crawled over to where Joel's mattress sat, before she proceeded to pull Joel's own covers over herself. Joel, already lying down, felt Ellie nuzzling into his arm, hugging him tightly as if he were a huge teddy bear. A big grin creased his cheeks as he sighed and pulled her in with his own arm. Feeling her steady breath on his shoulder did more peace to him than anything else could ever have. It calmed him and reassured him, that he was not, in fact, alone.

Looking over at her, Ellie's face still and small, a light breathing only audible to the two of them filling his ears, he brushed a lock of her red hair from her face and pushed it behind her ear. He remembered doing that to Sarah every night before she'd go to bed. It helped her sleep, along with him as well.

Both Ellie and Joel fell back a sleep with a smile on their faces, and the nightmares didn't return that night.

"Good night, baby girl."

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**A/N: I had to take a couple of breaks while writing this, especially during the end of Ellie's nightmare. It got a little dark for me. Anyway, thanks again you guys for clicking here, and I'll see you next time.**


	3. The Lies We Tell

**A/N: So I've been pretty busy the past week or so, and if you add that with writer's block, it truly can get tough at times. I have most of this planned out to the epilogue itself, so it's not like I'm just winging it, but I want to do this right, considering how dark of a fanfiction this is and is going to be. Hopefully I did this chapter right, and I'm open to any kind of criticism you guys have. It's all constructive and will help me improve later on. Thank you guys for all the great things you've said about the previous chapters, it's has really brightened quite a few of my days up.**

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**Chapter 3: The Lies We Tell**

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As the morning turned into the afternoon, and the sun found its perch in the center of the sky, a light winter breeze enveloped Joel, who sat in the tower overlooking not only Jackson, but the dark world that surrounded it. The day seemed to drag by as slowly as it could possibly manage, despite the Johnny Cash CD that played on the radio and the mug of coffee clasped firmly in his left hand. He savored every sip, still dumbstruck that he had the luxury of coffee. It seemed like ages since his last cup. His rifle laid to his right, leaning against the arm rest of the chair he found comfort in, and Joel felt like he was ready for anything willing to charge the wall he protected. However, most shifts were uneventful, no infected, bandit, or hunter in site, and today was no exception. He didn't actually mind it, the slow pace of the day, or the lack of action. It gave him time to get lost in his thoughts, which was what he needed for the time being. Obviously, these thoughts had a specific topic. Ellie, back at home.

He and Ellie had been in Jackson for about a year now, making that close to two years that they've known each other. It felt much longer than that to Joel, and it meant much more to him as well. It seemed almost like an entire lifetime, as if he'd raised her as his own since the day she was born, and the bond felt strong enough for that to be true. It was to the point now, that whenever Joel looked at her, it was like he was looking at Sarah, his long lost daughter.

Ellie had never gone back to school when they'd arrived. Joel had never offered, or suggested, or even persuaded. Considering how much time she'd spent in those Military Prep schools for her first thirteen years, he figured that she was just about done with that period of her life, considering also how she was wise beyond her years, especially with all the things she'd seen and done over the long trek across the US. School really wouldn't be much use to her anymore. Come to find out, she'd planned this whole long, intelligent argument to keep herself out of class. Good news for her, he'd never even planned on bringing it up.

Joel really let Ellie be Ellie, despite his over protection of her, which definitely got on her nerves every once and awhile. Especially with the whole idea of her coming up and sharing shifts with either him or Tommy as over-watch. That was absolutely out of the question. No doubt about it. No questions asked. It had even sparked a few debates in between them, the most recent one being a couple of nights back. They never got that ugly, since neither of them liked the concept of wasting energy over a screaming match. However, it seemed to be festering in Ellie, making the impression that she will go off at some point. Joel wasn't really looking forward to that.

It seemed almost at times as if she were growing distant, like something was gnawing at her on the inside. Joel had a pretty good idea of what it was, but didn't want to think about it. He'd lied to her to protect her, to keep the horrors of what went down with the Fireflies a secret, so that it wouldn't add already to the burden she carried on her shoulders. The immunity, the loss of her friends, she didn't need anything more to keep her up at nights. No, he'd let it rest upon his own, and it did succeed in keeping him up at times, indeed.

Right now, Ellie was probably where she was everyday: at the stables with Maria, tending to the horses and keeping them healthy. That's where he'd expect her to go when he had brought her here. Ever since Callus, she'd been particularly fond of horses, and of riding them. It was cute, and most definitely reminded Joel of Sarah. The two would've definitely gotten along well, possibly with a bond worthy of the title "best friends", even. Joel smiled at the thought of the two together. What a sight and experience that would've been, not only for him, or even Tommy, but for Ellie and even Sarah as well. Despite the smile, sadness began to fill him to the bones at the thought of the beautiful blonde haired, grey eyed little girl that he had tucked into bed every night.

Sipping at his coffee, he let the depressing thoughts of what might have been drift away as he reminisced back to the coffee shops, and the cute waitresses that would bring him and his wife the steaming cups of Joe almost every morning. Of course, it created a more dreary mood for him still, as if he was held prisoner by his tormenting memories to the point of no escape, slowly executing him by choking him out over a period of twenty years. It was to a point to where the color had drained from his eyes, and the once brown, now colorless iris's began to grow more sad despite himself, even with the new, happy life that he was lucky enough to be able to live, even in the new world.

"How ya doin' over there, Joel?"

Tommy's voice interrupted his thoughts as Joel looked over to acknowledge his little brother sitting beside him, sipping away at his own espresso with a content look that painted his face. Joel felt a little disappointed as the comfortable silence was disrupted, but decided that it was about high time a good conversation was held.

"I haven't seen anything since last week, if that's what you're asking. I think we've finally given the impression to those bandits that we ain't goin' anywhere."

Tommy's content was replaced by concern as he gave a glance to Joel, one eyebrow raising high.

"I meant you, Joel. How are _you _doing over there?"

Joel stopped for a brief moment, pursing his lips and considering what a good answer besides _fine _would be. He still hadn't told Tommy what had happened over in Salt Lake City, and he was hoping that he wouldn't have to.

"I'm doin' pretty good, personally. I can't even remember how long it's been since I've had a good cup of Joe."

Tommy grinned.

"Well, you can thank Grant on that one. He found it on the last supply run, a good thirty two cans worth."

Joel let out a low whistle.

"Damn, that's sounds like music to my ears, baby brother. Now we just need to find some cream."

Joel had never been fond of straight black coffee. He liked the flavor, but with a little cream mixed into the lot of it. Gave it a little more strength in his own personal opinion.

"I'll have to keep my eye out then," Tommy said over top a laugh.

They sat there for a little longer in another stretch of silence as the breeze gave an unique sound, filling there ears, along with Johnny Cash's _God's Gonna Cut You Down_.

_Well you can run on for a long time..._

_ Run on for a long time..._

_ Run on for a long time..._

_ Sooner or later God'll cut you down..._

"So how's life here in Jackson been treating you and Ellie lately, Joel?"

He once again pulled Joel out of his tormenting thoughts that racked his mind, and he actually felt relief this time because of it. He'd been remembering that fateful morning twenty odd years ago.

Inhaling, Joel proceeded to look up at Tommy.

"It's been pretty good here, Tommy. No longer have to look over our shoulders."

"Yeah, that might be a pretty significant change. You and that little girl of yours had been traveling for a good portion of a year, all across the US. I can imagine this is a little slice of heaven for ya."

"Oh, believe me. It is."

Tommy chuckled again, and as another moment of silence began to cover the two brothers, the CD in the player began to skip.

"Shit."

Joel stood from his seat and reached over to the table where the player sat, and began to mess with the disk tray. In the process, he managed to make matters worse, which ended up with a constant buzzing noise that came from the speakers on each side on constant repeat, which began to bug the living hell out of him. Slapping the side of the player a good four times, the music refused to return to entertain him for the remaining hours that were sure to drag on as well as the rest had. Sighing in defeat, Joel took the plug from the outlet on the side of the tower's inner wall, and the life flowed out of the machine in a matter of seconds, the digitizing numbers that filled the mini screen disappearing without a trace from the dusty, yellow glass.

Joel fell back into his chair, blowing his breath out in annoyance, as Tommy overlooked him with an amused smile. Leaning back in the chair with his eyes closed, Joel folded his hands on top of his stomach and relaxed his body yet again. It took him a couple of seconds to notice Tommy's gaze on him, which made Joel glance over at him with both his eyebrows raised.

"What."

Tommy laughed.

"Dear God, Joel. You still don't have a way with technology."

His laughing proceeded to annoy Joel, when he just grunted and returned to his relaxed position.

The afternoon sun began to become covered by clouds, which gave a gray tint to the surrounding area, and was followed by a inner flooding of depression inside Joel. He never liked cloudy weather, considering it reminded him of the day his wife had left in the back of some other man's pick up truck, and then the following day when a cop came to the door to report that she and the man had both died in the car while driving drunk after a party that night, and he was the only one on the list that they could come to...

"Breeze feels pretty good, today, huh Joel?"

It just seemed as if Tommy was coming up with BS things to say to fill in the quiet gaps of time they were experiencing, which made Joel a little suspicious, and annoyed him all the same. It usually meant that Tommy had something he wanted to say, or ask, but just didn't have enough courage yet to do so.

"What is it, Tommy?"

Tommy glanced down onto Joel.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you too damn well, little brother. You're holding something back from me, and are hesitating right now as I'm calling it out, so just spit it out."

"I'm not holding anything bac-"

"Tommy..."

Joel sat up, pulling the back of the lawn chair with him, as he placed his coffee into the holder after a good sip, before glancing back over at his brother.

"What is it," he repeated.

Tommy exhaled, defeated, and the concerned look he had a couple of minutes before returned to shape his face. Itching his cheek bone, he asked his question.

"It's been just about a year, Joel, like I said, and you still haven't told me what had happened up in Colorado."

Joel's features began to harden, as his figure tensed up as well. He looked out into the forest and mountains that surrounded them, and was suddenly a thousand miles away.

"Joel, this isn't healthy. It seems as if _you _are holding things back from _me."_

"What the hell do you mean, Tommy?"

"I mean, look at you, Joel. Every time I bring this up you seem to go somewhere completely different. It's as if something's eating away at you, and I know _you _too, Joel, ever since I was born. So don't tell me nothings wrong this time, or brush me off."

"What are you going on about?"

"Joel..."

Tommy's voice was beginning to get a little low, yet threatening at the same time.

"You and Ellie both are growing more and more distant as each day passes by. Neither of you can hold a descent conversation anymore, not like when you first got here. You have this distant glare in your eyes, and so does she. Also, every time either I, Maria, or anybody else brings this up, you brush it off as nothing and change the subject out of the blue. Now, I've been lenient and patient over this, but this time, that ain't gonna happen. You need to tell me straight."

"Tommy, there's nothing really to talk about."

"Bullshit. There definitely is."

"How would you know, Tommy? You weren't even there."

"I didn't have to be there to know something went down. Stop keeping shit from me, Joel. I'm your brother, so I should be the first person you come to."

Joel hesitated, unable to find the correct words to combat what he'd told him. Tommy had a good point, too, he should be able to trust him with just about anything. There was no reason he shouldn't be able to talk to him about what had happened.

"At least humor me, Joel. If nothing happened, than nothing happened. At least I'll be able to look at you with a clean conscience, knowing I'm doing all I can to help."

Joel didn't know where to start. The University, the cabin resort in the snow storm, Salt Lake City itself, with Marlene and the Fireflies. He decided to just start from the beginning.

Lifting his shirt, he showed his little brother the ugly scar that marked his gut for the first time, and a wide eyed expression appeared as a result.

"Yeah, it's as bad as it looks."

"Damn, Joel. What the hell happened."

Letting the shirt fall over the mark, he exhaled deeply through his nose and starred out at the world beyond, trying to figure out how to tell the story, not wanting to leave things out, yet not wanting to bring up certain things at the same time. The conflict inside him was adding to the pain of guilt he had to live with every waking hour since the hospital, ever since he'd killed those nurses, and Marlene.

"Joel?"

Looking back over at his brother, he forced himself from his thoughts again and just started talking.

"We found the University of Colorado, like you said. You were right, the place did look like a giant mirror."

"And...?"  
"Well..."

He wanted to figure out how to put it.

"They weren't there," he put simply.

Tommy cocked an eyebrow.

"What do you mean, they weren't there?"

"They'd left, packed up in a hurry and took off for Salt Lake City. I didn't figure out truly why, but there were a couple of bodies left behind, and shit ton of infected, even a Bloater."

"So it had been a pretty long time."

"Yeah, it wasn't as if we'd missed them by a little. They'd left quite some time before hand.

Joel cringed at the memory of desperately trying to break down the double doors as the menacing Bloater advanced on him, trying to sink its massive jaws into him. He let it go, however, and pushed it to the side. Time to move on.

"So, while we were there, we ended up running into a group of hunters. God knows what they were doing there."

"Okay. How'd you end up with, you know...?"

Tommy gestured towards the scar.

"One of them got lucky. Pushed me over the side of a catwalk in the center of the building, you know, the one with the big trees in the center."

Tommy nodded.

"Well, turns out, a protruding piece of rebar was in my way, so..."

Tommy cringed, closing his eyes and turning away for a second. He could only imagine the pain that followed.

"I get the picture, Joel."

"Yeah..."

Joel proceeded to rub the tear in his stomach with the tips of his fingers, remembering the pain that followed his fall, and the shock that it actually didn't hurt as much as he thought it was supposed to.

Tommy looked back up at him.

"How on Earth did you manage to get all the way from there to Salt Lake City with a wound like that."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Tommy."

Tommy raised his eyebrows, motioning him to continue on.

"I'm all ears."

Joel nodded in turn, and was surprised to find a grin on his face as he went on.

"Ellie, that stubborn little girl, was and still is as tough as nails. She dragged my pathetic, unconscious body across the state and took care of me as I healed. She stitched me up and all. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be sitting here having this conversation with you right now."

"Damn, Joel."

"I know."

Joel looked back out into the sky, a habit that Tommy noticed he was beginning to form.

"The bad thing about that was how she was on her own for God knows how long. I wasn't there to guide her, to reassure her, to protect her."

"Joel, that's not your fault."

"I know," he responded, "it's just... shit."

Tommy could tell that Joel did not like thinking about that winter, that it still haunted him. It did, and that's where Joel's thoughts were going, to waking to discover Ellie missing. Waking to find hunters prowling the area, to torturing the two men, come to find out she was "David's newest pet". Then his thoughts led to the restaurant, where he found her mercilessly brutalizing the man that had violated her in so many ways, and how they both had broken down right afterward. He remembered how week he'd been.

"Well," he continued, "after the winter came to a close, we trekked out again to find Salt Lake City. When we got there..."

He paused again, the memories hitting him hard in the face with a force impact similar to a punch, and squinted with each word he could manage.

"Shit happened, and Ellie ended up almost drowning, considering she couldn't swim."

Tommy nodded in acknowledgement, getting the extremity of the circumstance.

"Before I could revive her, the Fireflies showed up. Knocked me out cold before I could finish."

"Jesus, that's Ethan," Tommy stated.

"So you knew him?"

Tommy nodded again.

"Yeah. Believe me, he was a fuckin' hothead."

Joel snorted.

"That's an understatement."  
His joke resulted in a chuckle from Tommy.

As his story came to the hospital, where it had happened, where he'd done his worst, his hesitation increased, which definitely caught his brother's attention. Joel debated on telling him the story he'd told Ellie, or just screw it and get the truth out, so he wouldn't have to live with it by himself. It seemed like either direction he took, it would be a selfish one. Yet, his initial choice had been selfish, so that didn't really come off as a surprise to him. His long pause began to concern Tommy as he tried to figure out what he was going to say now.

"Joel, what happened?"

Blowing his breath out, Joel just decided to go with it.

"Little brother, it turns out we were a little too late to the party."

His brother cocked another eyebrow.

"What do you mean, _late_?"

"Well..."

He hesitated again, internally debating on what he should say to Tommy, and how'd he react to either story. This secret was beginning to seem more trouble than it was worth, especially since it'd be known by more people than just Ellie.

"It turned out," he continued, his mind reluctantly made up, "that there had been a whole lot more like Ellie. Immune, I mean."

"No shit?"

"Yeah, it was hard for me to believe at first. Never knew that it could be possible for more to have her gift."

"She doesn't treat it a whole lot like it's a gift, Joel. More like a curse."

Joel nodded, glancing at the metal floor and remembering what she'd told him on the hill right before entering Jackson.

_Her name was Riley, and she was the first to die... I'm still waiting for my turn..._

"Well, she wasn't alone, it turns out."

Tommy accepted what he said, much to his belief, and beckoned him to continue.

"Well, it didn't to a damn bit good, either. Turns out, it was just a colossal failure.

"Really?"

"Yeah, the disappointment on Ellie's face when she found out nearly broke my heart."

"Damn."

Tommy shook his head, looking disappointed himself.

"So, as a result, they just stopped."

"Stopped?"

"Yeah. They're no longer looking for the cure, Tommy. It's over."

Another shake of the head, and Tommy cursed under his breath.

"So, after Marlene told me this..."

"Wait, Marlene told you this?"  
Joel nodded.

"Yeah, why does that matter."

He shrugged.

"Not important, go on."

"Okay, so, when Marlene told me this," he repeated, "we drove off in a car they gave us, and that's how we got here."

Tommy's eyes fell to the floor, as he let the information of Joel's story sink in good, allowing himself to process what he'd just heard. Joel couldn't quite make it out, but there seemed to be a small ping of doubt in his eyes, but when Tommy looked back up at him, it almost looked like he'd accepted it. _Almost._

"Alright, Joel. It seems like you and Ellie had quite the adventure, huh?"

Joel's own eyes seemed to go a thousand miles away again. glancing over into the foliage out in front of him.

"Yeah, Tommy, I'd rather not think about it anymore."

Tommy hesitated this time, and followed his gaze as yet another moment of silence surrounded them. Then Tommy spoke up.

"Joel..."

"Yeah, Tommy?"

Tommy glanced over at him, a quizzical look on his face.

"You want to tell me the truth this time?"

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**A/N: Hopefully things aren't moving too slow. The good parts are coming. I wanted to start the official beginning of this story with rising tension between Joel and Tommy, since the inevitable conflict due to Joel's lie at the end of the game would probably do that between the two brothers. Thanks again, you guys, for all your support and kind words. I'll see ya next time.**


	4. Post-Traumatic

**A/N: Wow, has it nearly been a whole month since I've updated! Damn, sorry guys. Writer's Block can be a bitch, let me tell ya. I also realize I didn't really meet the deadline I gave myself in the Author's Note I posted a week ago. I apologize for that as well, everybody. Anyway, here's the next chapter. From here on they should pump out a whole lot quicker, and the nice words you guys give really helps me along. Keeps me motivated. Hope you guys enjoy.**

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**Chapter 4: Post-Traumatic**

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Ellie was not, in fact, at the stables like everyone assumed she was. Instead, the fifteen year old redhead was shuffling gingerly down the dirt path of the woods that surrounded the outside of the wall, stretching on for miles out into the dangerous world that waited patiently for the opportunity to swallow them whole in a sea of green. It intimidated her, frightened her, and the risks that it presented was the only thing keeping her from running out into it, away from the lies and the deceit, the corruption and the false promises fed to her for the sake of others beside herself. It pained Ellie, leaving a hole where her own beating heart used to be; a sad, dark void that continued to expand and envelop her and her every thought taking its place. Haunted by the memories of the past, Ellie was unable to find peace anymore, unable to accept the new situation she had, despite its advantages, even after the prolonged course of a year.

Her worn down shoes that had covered her feet for as long as she could remember were coated with dirt that rose up following every footstep. She wasn't far from the wall, itself, and was just taking a simple walk, according to the guard she had informed before her departure. She wasn't leaving, despite the temptation of doing so. No, she wasn't like that, she didn't abandon others. Not with her own fear of being abandoned, of being alone. The reason beckoning her to leave Jackson behind, however, which added to the pain that lingered, was Joel. Joel and his obvious, made-up story that still plagued her to that moment in time, his words still crisp and clear as day, running through her head as if he'd just spoken them to her seconds ago. Her trust for him was diminishing, even while knowing whatever he did was for their protection, her protection. However, she just couldn't rely on him anymore. How could you rely on a liar?

She didn't hate him, despite the truth that was written out in front of her. She couldn't hate him, even if she tried with all her might, all her will power. After all he had done for her, after he'd stayed by her side through the thick of it, even when he wanted nothing to do with her. How he'd seen her at her worst, and how he'd grown closer as a result, and swore to her that he'd stay by her side. She couldn't leave him, either. Ellie wasn't the kind to submit to betrayal.

However, anger stewed inside deeply, pent up, like a volcano just waiting to erupt with a century's payload. It was hot, festering, wanting desperately to be released. Ellie was eventually going to have to confront Joel, and she knew that. Otherwise, she would have to live with this each day and night, for the weeks, months, and years to come. This couldn't be a gap between them forever. What ever happened in Salt Lake couldn't have been so bad, so god awful, that it would totally change her view on the aging man that watched over her everyday. However, if it hadn't been as bad, then he wouldn't of felt the need to lie, now would he?

Her thoughts were venom running through her veins, and her guilt was what kept it going with a powerful strength. It replaced the infection that was supposed to be there, and was much more everlasting, much more painful then it could have ever been. It took its time with her, tearing her up on the insides slowly, not allowing her to forget. With each step Ellie took down the path, she stroked the scar on her arm another time, memories of Riley and Sam a poison that surely killed her over time, the worst kind of torture that could be done to a human being. It hurt so much, to the point where Ellie's thoughts betrayed her morality, her own personality. She found herself wishing that neither Sam or Riley had ever existed, so she could be spared her pain.

Ellie felt so fuckin' selfish.

She found, soon enough, that she wasn't alone after all on the dirt path that seemed to stretch on, but she tried to convince herself that she was. Ellie had sensed Maria's presence minutes before she had gotten the courage to approach her, and the knowledge of what she'd say to the suffering teenage girl, with scars no person her age should have. It annoyed her profusely, as she just wanted to be left alone to the overwhelming sadness that sickened her, nauseating her every waking hour.

"Ellie..."

Maria called, and Ellie wished she could just ignore it, and move on. Snow flakes had begun to fall, and the chilling winter breeze was picking up. Her pony tail whipped back into her face as the rest of her hair atop her head landed into her eyes. It stalled her long enough for Maria to catch up to her, as she brushed the locks aside with her fingers.

"Ellie... there you are."

As everyone had expected, she was supposed to be at the stables with Maria at this hour, tending to the horses to make sure that they were in good shape, so that whenever they were needed, they were ready. It was one of the things that Ellie did in fact enjoy now a days, it kept her distracted. It was something to look forward to. This was why Maria was so surprised to see Ellie elsewhere, she was never late. In fact, she was always the first one there, beating Maria to her post and usually already halfway done with the chores when she arrived. Obviously, Maria wouldn't complain. Today was different, however.

When Maria had gotten up alongside her, she saw how depressed she looked, the sadness in her emerald eyes reflected the tormented soul that was plagued by memories and nightmares all the same. In her hand, a medallion was clasped tightly and the chain ran down her arm, dangling and flailing as the wind picked up. Her cheeks were red, a sign of incessant crying, as Maria was unaware that tomorrow it was to be Riley's birthday.

It was supposed to be her seventeenth.

For the past three years, the date had sent her in a downward spiral, to be nearly crushed under the weight of depression that was so intense, it caused migraines. So, Ellie would sit on her mattress with a box of tissues and a bottle of Ibuprofen, that is, if there was any of either left to spare. Everything from tissues to toilet paper was beginning to run scarce now, considering how most places surrounding Jackon's vicinity were pretty much picked clean.

The hand on Ellie's shoulder pulled her from her dark hole as she glanced up in noticeable annoyance to Maria, which slightly set her back. However, Maria continued.

"I've been looking everywhere for you, Ellie. You weren't at the stables like usual, and you weren't with Joel, so I've been all over Jackson trying to find you. Hell, Tommy and Joel had to call it quits early on their shift to come looking for you. What's gotten into you, Ellie, running off like that?"

Ellie looked up at her with her bloodshot eyes, the sorrow spreading quickly as if it was the most contagious disease. It pained Maria to look at her like this, so she tried to force a smile to comfort her the best she could. The fact that Ellie had briefly gone missing seemed to float away as she did so. The facts in front of Maria did seem to fit together well, however, like pieces to a puzzle.

"Hey... hey, what's wrong, Ellie? What's going on?"

Maria came to one knee, and placed both hands on her shoulders. Ellie sniffed.

"It's... It's nothing."

Maria cocked an eyebrow, seeing through the lie with expertise.

"That's bullshit, Ellie. Something's up, and you and I both know that."

Ellie's eyes fell to the floor, glued in a glance that she couldn't break even if she wanted to.

" You know you can tell me, right?"

She was like Joel in that manner. Always looking out for her.

"It's fine, Maria. I'm okay."  
Ellie wiped her eyes with her arm and kept her tough facade up, mimicking Joel with his own attitude towards the world. It was one of the good things he'd taught her along the way.

"Ellie, common..."

"I said, I'm okay!"

Ellie's interjection was a lot crueler than she had intended, but it displayed her emotions well, and it was enough to make Maria back off completely.

"Okay," she said with a sigh, "Whatever you say, Ellie. Just know that, me, Tommy, and Joel, we're all here for you, alright? You're not on your own with whatever you're dealing with. You can rely on us to help you along."

_Rely. _Like that was the truth of things, anymore.

Maria gave another consoling grin, which didn't help matters at all, before she began to guide her back to Jackson. Ellie, however, resisted.

"What is it?"

Ellie wasn't ready to return. She looked like a mess, and she knew it. She definitely couldn't let Joel see her like this. She didn't budge, and just stared at the ground, unwilling to respond.

"Ellie, common. You can tell me. What is it?"

A new face filled her head much different than Riley's. It happened so randomly, like any small thing that could somewhat relate to it would set it off. The face belonged to David, who was one of the only two people that could torment her like this, and he was the face of her every nightmare. David and Riley were two totally different people, who tortured her in completely different ways in their afterlife. However, each was just as extreme.

As the familiar winter weather was setting in that afternoon, it sparked her memory, sending her back to a year ago, when she'd been trapped in that snow storm which nearly claimed both the lives of her and Joel. It sent her back to David, his crooked, evil face representing that of a monster's maw. It sent her back into the belly of the shark.

Despite her freezing body, she felt the warmth of the fire, the smell of the smoke and the failing supports, the sound of the creaking wood as it failed under all the building pressure. Ellie felt David's calloused hand on her throat once more, pushing her down hard into the carpet as he laughed like a maniac above her, looking excitedly forward to what he was about to do to her. Who the hell knew what twisted ideas were floating through his head, the plans that he had for her. It seemed obvious, that he'd have his way with her, before he chopped her up into tiny pieces, and fed her to the children that were forced to live there with them, to become one of them. The twisted pieces of shit were brain-washers, another title to add to the long list.

David's terrible smile seemed to grow closer, his tongue sticking out as if to lick her, and he undoubtedly intended to. The twisted bastard was excited, and Ellie freaked out at the idea of what was to come next. His breath was on her neck, warm and threatening. It was so similar to a dog's, right before it would sink its teeth into you inviting flesh, and tear into you like a sack of meat. Ellie began to shake.

_You think you know me, huh..._

His long, graying hair was in her face, scratching against her cheeks as he drew closer and closer. She was right back into the thick of it.

_Well let me tell you somethin'. You have no idea of what I'm capable of..._

Ellie felt her breath escape her, as she began to hyperventilate, her vision of the real world blurring before her very eyes, until it began to fall away from her. Maria was nothing but a mixture of colors now, as she could no longer see, no longer breathe. Her heart was racing, her ears were ringing, and Ellie couldn't do anything natural but let out a scream, before the Earth underfoot came up to claim her as the darkness surrounded her small frame, becoming her world.

All she could make out was Maria's startled scream.

* * *

_"So it was another one..."_

The world began to finally reform itself around her as Ellie came to, the throbbing in her head from where it had hit the ground earlier from her fall caused a sudden wave of nausea that nearly drowned her in its wake. The ringing in her ears pierced her head, causing even more pain to shoot through her very mind as she grimaced tightly, placing one palm up to it in retaliation, trying to push it out the back as if that would work. Squinting even more, she let her senses return, as she forced herself to somewhat sit up to collect her bearings, and try to figure out what had happened. Blinking away the grogginess that invaded her on top of her other ailments, her emerald eyes scanned the room she was lying in, and noticed that she was sitting in the hospital. Well, what could come across as a hospital these days, anyway.

_"I'm afraid so, and even worse than the last time. Not only had she suffered a pretty good anxiety attack, she had fallen pretty hard, which has resulted in a minor concussion. _Only _minor, but still."_

_ "Jesus."_

A concussion?

That pretty much summed up the pain she was experiencing at that very moment. Ellie cursed to herself as it dawned on her that her panic attacks were returning. They had been moderate before, but when one came around, they could be bad enough to where Joel would have to restrain her because it would be so bad. This one had apparently caused her to pass out due to hyperventilation, at least that's what she could pick up from the doctor outside. She could hear his voice, along with Joel's, who had left his shift, as Maria had said earlier, in order to check on her. Guilt then rocked her to the core as she realized that this was affecting the convenience of others.

Looking to her side, she saw the trinkets that she'd been carrying with her outside hours ago, lying side by side on the small metal table sitting close to the bed. She reached for the pendant that shined brightly with the dying light that peaked in from the heavy blinds that tried, but failed, to keep it out. Ellie ran her thumb over the name and the sadness returned. It wasn't as bad as it had been earlier, but she knew it was going to be an emotional couple of days.

_"Well, thanks, Grant. It's good to know she's in good hands."_

A chuckle followed.

_"Anytime, Joel. I do recommend, however, that you up the dosage of her medication for the next couple of weeks, so that this can be better controlled. It seems to me that each escalates to be worse than the previous, and we want to try and keep it from happening period."_

_ "Okay. Thanks, doc."_

Ellie heard Joel entering the room as she looked up at the aging man, her eyes meeting his as she saw a mix of worry and sorrow, so the emotions carried to her in response. He gave her a consoling grin, despite himself, and placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her further.

"Hey there, kiddo."

Ellie closed her eyes, as the thoughts that ran through her head earlier returned.

_Turns out, there's a whole lot more like you, Ellie._

"I heard you took quite the fall."

Ellie rubbed her forehead, the pain central in the left side, which squinted her left eye in turn.

"Yeah, it hurt."

Joel nodded. Her short answers were just about common now, as you couldn't really ever hold a conversation with her anymore, not since their return. It depressed Joel, to think that she was this tormented on the inside, yet she'd never reach out to anyone because of her stubborn nature. That irritated him, especially since she could be helped along, no matter what she was going through. Ellie used to be so energetic, so spry. It just wasn't right.

"I bet it did," Joel responded. "Grant says that you are suffering from a minor concussion. They sting pretty badly, but it'll be gone soon, don't worry."

As Joel approached a bit more, Ellie groaned slightly as she shifted, hiding the pendant from his view so that he wouldn't ask her about it. He still didn't know the whole story, and she was debating on whether she'd ever tell him. Right now, because of the suspicions, she was leaning more towards the "never" side of the whole thing. Her back was facing Joel now, as she stared at the wall and sighed, a huge lump in her chest that was beginning to choke her up.

"Hey... hey, what's the matter?"

Joel put his hand back on Ellie's shoulder, but she shrugged it away, wishing to once again be left alone. She did not want Joel to see her like this. The idea of that was just too much... too embarrassing. However, Joel was a lot more stubborn than she would've thought.

"Ellie, common. Stop hiding from me."

"I'm not, Joel."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"Then why do you look away every time I try to talk to you?"

She didn't respond, which was the exact response that Joel had expected. He pulled up one of the chairs from the right, before sitting down beside the bed, with his hands in his lap. He waited for Ellie to say something. Anything.

"Ellie, it's obvious something is bothering you," he said, wanting to break the developing silence. "Why can't you just talk about it with anybody?"

She continued to glare at the wall, running her fingers over the pendant like it was her life line, the small indents where Riley's name was on the medallion made imprints on the pads of her thumb. Ellie's eyes were closed, because if she opened them, tears would start to spill out. Just a night stood between now and Riley's birthday. It was killing her. She just wanted the next week to go by and then go away. She had enough on her plate as it was, and with this added to the load on her shoulders, Ellie didn't know how she was going to get by. The horrible memories with David that sent her into shock, her suspicion with Joel that ate away at her, and know Riley in her every waking thought as well. How was a human being supposed to deal with this kind of thing?

"Ellie...?"

"Joel, please. Just... go away."

"Ellie, baby girl..."

"_Stop_, Joel. Leave me alone."

Her words cut deep, despite the simplicity of them. They hurt Joel, as he looked down at the ground with his brown eyes, filled with empathy. Or at least, he wanted them to be filled with empathy. He wanted to share the burdens she had with her, to take at least half of it away, so that he could see her smile again. It was all Joel thought about anymore. Ellie and Sarah, how the two of them had entered his life so unexpectedly and how they both had defined him as a human being. They were both very different, yet the same as well. It gave Joel headaches just to think about the two of them. Whatever Ellie was going through at the moment was definitely not on the same scale of what Sarah used to have to. No, it was much more intense, something a fifteen year old should not have to experience. Joel kept hoping something would come to mind to keep her tormentors at bay. At least, for a while, that is.

Ellie noticed his silence and briefly looked over, to find his sad eyes glued to the floor as his own thoughts were plaguing him. She realized that yet her comment wasn't the worst to ever leave her mouth, it was enough to send Joel into a further state of depression. Despite her suspicions, and her conflicted mindset, she cared so deeply for the man that sat across from her, so she spoke up.

"Joel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

He looked at her with his big puppy dog brown eyes that for some reason reminded her so much of Riley. Whether it was the shared eye color or something more, she didn't know, but it added to her own torment all the same.

"No, it's ok. It isn't you. I just..."

He paused, and his gaze met her own, staring into the emerald pools that captivated him, sparking so many memories. They were memories that Joel didn't want to think about.

"I'll leave you alone, Ellie. You need some time to rest, anyway."

"But you just got here."

"I know I did, but you're right. I need to give you some space."

"Fuck that, Joel. Forget I said anything... please. Just... stay here a little, will you?"

"I..."

"_Joel..."_

They both paused. Her swift change on whether or not she wanted Joel there at that moment surprised both of them, and Joel fully sat back down in the chair and grinned at her.

Ellie was still not used to the Joel she saw. He was more groomed, and less grey each day. His beard was shorter, yet still noticable still. He was almost beginning to look like the Joel she'd seen in the photograph with Sarah she'd snatched so long ago. Despite that, there were bags under his eyes most of the time. She could tell that he was suffering insomnia as much as she was, which worried her. Her love-hate feelings for him were so complex and complicated, she didn't really know what to think about them anymore.

His rough hand laid on her shoulder, and Joel leaned back a little, relaxed and almost relieved at her acceptance of his presence. She let her head softly lie against her pillow and she closed her eyes, still trying to fight away the haunting memories. However, for this small period of time, she was a little more successful.

"Hey, Joel..."

"Hmm..."

His own eyes were beginning to flutter. It seemed that the two could only actually get a good rest when in each other's presence.

"What was Sarah like?"

His answer was silence, and she had definitely expected as much. Out of the near three years that she's known him, Ellie has still no idea of who Sarah was as a human being. She was a complete stranger, yet somehow, Ellie felt that she knew her. The picture she'd stolen from Maria was always in Joel's pocket, along with the shattered watch that he'd constantly rub with his fingers whenever she was brought up, or when he was in a depressed mood of sorts. This example was no exception. Joel's long hesitation pretty much got the message across that he was not yet ready to share that moment in his life. It was still a deep wound, there was no question, and Ellie could see that on his face.

"Okay..."

Ellie noticed the similarity that this conversation was beginning to have to one they had had before, and she decided that maybe it was for the best. She had enough people to mourn for at the moment.

"Too much?"

Joel nodded, giving her a sad look.

"Too much."

* * *

Tommy was outside the room, waiting for Joel to exit. His thumbs spun in his lap as his foot tapped underneath him. A pang of anger still sat in the pit of his stomach, as their conversation over Salt Lake had been left unresolved due to this fiasco. Which, by the way, added to his suspicions over what his big brother was hiding from him, what he'd been hiding for him for over a period of an entire year. He tried to hide it from his face. He'd been getting good at it, considering he'd been covering his impatience and frustration since they had arrived. Tommy wanted to be there for Joel, wanted to be a good brother to him. He couldn't, however, since Joel kept everything in the dark. Although, Joel had one hell of a lousy poker face, one that Tommy could easily see through.

Maria walked in through the door on his left as rain poured in through the temporary open gap. She looked over at him, her hair drenched and her clothes soaked, her piercing eyes glaring into his soul as she heaved. She'd been running. Maria wasn't dumb, she knew why Tommy was there, and what he planned on doing.

Tommy met Maria's stare, and gave a slight look of annoyance.

"What?"

"Now's not the time, Tommy," Maria responded, both hands on her hips as she tried to coax him out of the impending argument. "Too much has happened this evening, and we're all on edge because of it. Don't add fuel to the fire."

"Maria..."

Tommy chuckled. He had the habit of doing that when he was perturbed, and that frustrated the hell out of Joel. It had since they were kids. That's why he did it, and had grown used to doing it. He turned in his seat to face his wife, leaning over as far as he could in the little chair they provided in the waiting room.

"...when is the time to talk about this?"

"When we're all calm and collected, and when there isn't an incident going on at the time."

"Maria, you need to understand that this is my brother, and that I absolutely have to talk to him. Now, I know where you're coming from with this, and I appreciate it, really I do. But..."

"Tommy, stop."

Maria pulled up a chair and sat in it backwards in front of Tommy, her arms over the back, as she made the most serious face that she could.

"Please, don't kick the dog right now. We can all sit down and discuss this as a family... together. I understand how frustrating this must be for you, but..."

"I don't think you do understand Maria."

Maria snorted, shaking her head.

"Don't treat me like I'm stupid, Tommy. Believe me, I do understand. That's my brother in law and the girl that could very well be considered my niece in there. I _do _understand. However, this is _absolutely_ not the time to be doing this."

"Maria, I have to talk to him. It's been a year, and they both are hiding shit from us... shit that we could help them with."

"I know, Tommy, but they may be holding this back from us for a reason. Maybe we shouldn't be involved with stuff this deep anyway.

"Maria, this very thing right here," he whispered sternly as he jabbed a finger at the floor for emphasis, "could have been avoided if they would just _talk _to us."

"I never said we wouldn't talk with them, Tommy. I just said that we need to wait."

"Maria, I love ya, but I need to talk to him. He told me a story while we were on patrol today, and it was a bullshit story, a _lie._"

Maria opened her mouth to respond, yet she closed it. Despite her wanting to keep the peace, her curious side was a bit more overwhelming.

"He told me that when they found the Fireflies, that there were a whole lot more of them, Maria."

"What do you mean? Like Ellie?"

Maria pointed towards the door that housed Joel and Ellie as they spoke.

"Yes," Tommy whispered back. "However, he said that it was a fruitless effort, and that they had given up looking for a cure."

Maria scooted a little further in her chair.

"Is this true?"

"No, Maria. It's not. I was with them, remember. I was friends with their leader, Marlene. I knew her, I knew _them. _There was no way that they would've given up on something like this. It's one of the main reasons that they exist in the first place. And Marlene... she way to stubborn a broad to just back down from a cause such as this. Joel doesn't know them, so obviously he can't create a descent enough lie to cover up whatever the hell happened in Salt Lake. He's lying through his fuckin' teeth, and I know this..."

The door opened, and Joel stepped out. Maria and Tommy stopped dead in their tracks as their hushed conversation did as well. Joel then pulled the door shut, and then nodded slowly to his little brother. Clearing his throat, he walked over to where the two sat.

"Hey, there, big brother," Tommy said as calmly as he could, "How's Ellie doing?"

Joel placed his hands in his pant pockets, and displayed that he had no intention of sticking around for the time being.

"She's okay. Ellie's got a minor concussion from her fall, and Grant wants to up her dosage of her anxiety medicine so that we can avoid any other episodes like this one. Other than that, she'll be back on her feet in no time."

"That's good to hear, Joel. It's a relief," Maria chimed in.

Joel smiled at the two, and then went for the door as quickly as he'd exited Ellie's room. It slammed behind him, and with that, he was gone. It seemed a little out of character for him, indeed.

Tommy and Maria's attention grew slowly back to each other as Tommy noticed Maria had an eyebrow cocked.

"That was odd."

"It was. I'd expected him to of stayed here with Ellie until she was back on her feet, no matter how long it took."

Maria nodded, and then a concerned look grew on her face.

"You don't think that... that he heard us, do you."

Tommy looked over to the side, his mind racing as thoughts passed through at a thousand miles an hour. His eyes seemed to be slightly distant, until he shook his head, his lips pressed firmly.

"No, I don't think so."

Maria then placed a hand on his shoulder, her husband obviously extremely uncomfortable. She rubbed it, and then patted him to reassure him.

"Just relax for now, okay, Tommy? We can address this later."

Tommy was stubborn, for he didn't, couldn't, wait any longer for this inevitable conflict. So he stood, breaking Maria's contact, and began to walk for the door in pursuit of his big brother.

"Tommy..."

"Maria, stop. I have to talk to him, no matter what the damn date is, and no matter what's happening. Ellie's in that bed for a reason, and he's hiding that very reason from us. I'm going to find out tonight, honey. I need to."

"No you don't, Tommy. Like I've said again and again, let's just wait this out. We can all talk about this later as a civilized..."

"Maria, _stop."_

Tommy turned before she could respond, and opened the door, buckets of rain blasting him in the face as he did so.

"Tommy wait..."

Despite his sudden rush, he stopped to turn and look at Maria, who'd stood up from her own chair to look at him with pleading eyes.

"You know very well what day it is tomorrow."

Tommy's eyes drifted to the ground, and he nodded slowly.

"Sarah's birthday."

Maria nodded in return, wrapping her arms around her chest in response to the cold, and forced a grin at him.

"At _least_ be collected about it, Tommy. I don't want to be digging two graves."

Tommy smiled as he looked back up at her, and then rushed into the rain in pursuit of his brother. They had a lot of talking to do.


	5. Author's Note

**I really have to apologize to you guys for once again doing this. Life has caught up with me, with school letting out (all that pressure lifted from my shoulders), a new job taking up my time, and so on, and I really hate giving excuses. Don't worry, I'm still keeping to my promise to finish this story. Actually, now that I've got a good foothold in life itself, I'm expanding this. Originally, this was to be about twelve chapters long, however I was brainstorming one night and came up with a cool concept, and decided to add on to what I had planned beforehand. I may even change the title to the story, but who knows. Anyway, again, I apologize to you guys for the wait, and I'll begin updating as soon as possible. Thank you guys for all the kind words. :D**


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